Coaching Through Multiple Lenses
As coaches and leaders, it's invaluable to periodically reflect on the multifaceted nature of coaching. This blog explores coaching through five distinct lenses, offering insights that can enrich our practice and deepen our understanding of this transformative process. By examining these different perspectives, we can gain fresh insights and renew our approach to this powerful discipline.
The Interplay of Same and Difference
Coaching, at its core, is about recognising the universal human experience whilst honouring individual uniqueness. As coaches, we often find ourselves oscillating, travelling and balancing across this polarity.
On one hand, we acknowledge that many challenges our thinkers (our clients) face are shared human experiences. The desire for growth, the fear of failure, the search for meaning - these are examples of threads that can run through our lives. This commonality allows us to connect with our clients on a fundamental level, creating understanding, compassion, empathy and understanding.
On the other hand, each thinker is uniquely shaped by their experiences, beliefs, and circumstances. No two coaching journeys are identical, and it's crucial to approach each thinker with fresh eyes and an open mind. What worked for one might not work for another, and assumptions based on past experiences can hinder rather than help.
I am beginning to recognise that the art of coaching lies in appreciating these universal patterns whilst remaining acutely attuned to the individual nuances of each thinker. It's about finding common ground without losing sight of the unique landscape of each person's life and aspirations.
2. The Art of Keen Observation
One of the most potent tools in a coach's arsenal is the ability to notice - to observe not just what is said, but how it's said, what's left unsaid, what isn’t said, the body language, and the subtle shifts in energy and emotion that occur during a session.
Noticing goes beyond active listening. It involves being present to what is emerging by tuning into the thinker's body language, tone of voice, and choice of words. It's about picking up the incongruence between what's being said and what's being expressed non-verbally. It's noticing patterns of thought and behaviour that the thinker might be unaware of: all while being in service of them.
But noticing isn't just about observing the thinker. It's equally important for us coaches to notice our own reactions, assumptions, and biases. What triggers us? What assumptions are we making? What are we avoiding or drawn to in the conversation?
By honing our ability to notice, we create a richer, more nuanced understanding of both our clients and indeed, ourselves. This deepened awareness can lead to more profound insights and more effective coaching practices.
3. Developing Inquisitiveness
At the heart of effective coaching lies a genuine sense of curiosity - an inquisitive mindset and way of being that drives us to explore, question, and understand. This curiosity is not about prying or satisfying our own interest, but about creating a space where clients can discover new insights about themselves.
Inquisitiveness in coaching manifests through thoughtful, open-ended questions that invite reflection and exploration. It's about asking, "And, so?” and/or “What if?" and/or "How might you?" rather than jumping to solutions or advice-giving. It's about being comfortable with not knowing and allowing space for the thinker to process their thoughts and feelings so that they can find their own answers.
Moreover, inquisitiveness extends to our own practice as coaches. Are we continuously questioning our methods, exploring new approaches, and remaining open to learning? This spirit of enquiry keeps our coaching fresh and prevents us from falling into rigid patterns or assumptions.
4. The Polarity of Being and Doing
We are referred to as human beings and yet often we are human doings. Busy doing so much in our day-to-day lives, that who we are being; can be left unchallenged.
Coaching often walks a tightrope between being and doing. On one side, there's the action-oriented aspect of coaching - setting goals, creating action plans, and driving towards results. This 'doing' aspect is often what initially attracts thinkers to coaching, as they seek tangible outcomes and measurable progress and to be fair, society measures us on our output.
And, on the other side of this polarity, there's the important aspect of 'being' - creating space for reflection, self-discovery, and simply being present with whatever arises. This might involve exploring values, examining beliefs, or sitting with uncomfortable emotions.
The most effective coaching often involves a dance between these two states. We might spend time in the 'being' space, allowing a thinking partner to connect with their deeper motivations or fears, before shifting into the 'doing' space to translate those insights into actionable steps.
As coaches, we need to be adept at recognising when to shift between these modes, and helping our clients appreciate the value of both. Are they occupying the doing space at the cost of ignoring who they are being – or vice versa? Sometimes, the most significant breakthroughs come not from doing more, but from being more fully present and aware.
5. Embracing Change
Change is at the heart of coaching. Our clients come to us because they want something to be different - in their lives, their work, or within themselves. As coaches, we are agents for that change, supporting our thinkers as they move through transitions and transformations.
However, change is complex. It can be simultaneously exciting and frightening, liberating and destabilising. As coaches, we need to understand the psychology of change - how people respond to it, what drives it, and what hinders it. And the fact it is a constant.
Moreover, our world is changing at an unprecedented pace, we need to help our thinkers develop adaptability and resilience. This might involve working on mindset shifts, building coping strategies, or reframing challenges as opportunities for growth.
It's equally important for us as coaches to embrace change in our own practice. The field of coaching is evolving rapidly, with new research, methodologies, and technologies constantly emerging. By staying open to change ourselves, we model the flexibility and growth we hope to inspire in our clients.
Time for reflection
I invite coaches and leaders interested in coaching to reflect on these five lenses: (1. The Interplay of Same and Difference, 2. The Art of Keen Observation, 3. Developing Inquisitiveness, 4. The Polarity of Being and Doing, 5. Embracing Change).
How might viewing your coaching practice through these perspectives enrich your work?
How might they deepen your understanding of yourself and your thinkers?
Remember, coaching is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It's a dynamic, evolving practice that requires us to be flexible, attentive, and continuously learning. By exploring these different facets of coaching, we can create more impactful, transformative experiences for our thinkers and for ourselves.
We can use these insights as an opportunity to refresh our perspective, challenge our assumptions, and recommit to the powerful, transformative work of coaching. After all, in the words of Marcel Proust:
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."
If you'd like to explore more about coaching through these five lenses, reach out to me via email, and we'll schedule a conversation to begin your transformative journey.